The value of complaining

I feel like this blog ends up sounding whiny. That's probably because I whine a lot. But a blog or journal is a great place to do it. Better than always sounding off to loved ones. But there are times when complaining is good. If frustrations get bottled up, they toxify. And when that happens to me, I boil over. It also seems that when I bite my tongue too much it's easy for family members to, well, let's just say, start expecting me to keep quiet about things. And that's not good. Especially when they are part of what sets me off. Or when they routinely vent their ire on me. And when they start taking mom's/wife's broad shoulders for granted. When I am too patient (not very often, but if I am), family tends to get comfortable with that. And they don't do things for themselves that they should be doing for themselves. Like self-care, self advocacy and problem solving. It becomes too easy to abuse my patience. Then when I'm not feeling patient or when I'm at low ebb myself, everyone is surprised and irritated that I've dropped the ball. I haven't dropped the ball, though. I've just stopped carrying for everyone else. I've put it back in the court in which it belongs. Being patient and long-suffering is good. We're commanded to be these things in the Bible. But being honest is important, too. And continually shouldering burdens for others that they should be shouldering themselves does no one any good. The trick is to figure out how and when to let go. Will they like it? Not usually. But they'll learn. The most important thing is doing what feels right to me. 
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